Thursday, December 23, 2010

All I Really Want for Christmas

This past Thanksgiving was emotional. I really missed (MN) home. I really missed my parents. I really missed my siblings. I really missed my grandparents. I was brought to tears just seeing photos of their Thanksgiving celebration. I am so grateful for my heritage. I am so grateful for all that my parents have sacrificed to raise me and my siblings. I am so grateful for what their parents sacrificed to raise them. I am so honored to call my parents, my parents. They are MY mom and dad. And I'm so happy that the plan that God has for my life included me having a mom and a dad. 

We spent our Thanksgiving day with our wonderful neighbors. They have been there for us so much; so much more than we could ever ask. It was very comforting to have them join us for the day. I was very emotional, missing my family, but at the same time I felt like something else was missing, I felt like the rest of our family was missing. A part of us wasn't there, there were empty chairs at our table that should be filled with more of our family. I had never felt like that before, I felt kinda funny even saying it out loud, but it felt so true. We discussed it with our neighbors and I was comforted. Our neighbor said something like; "be patient, you've heard the call, just hold on... just watch what God's going to do!"

I have to admit, at times I do feel anxious about when and/or if we will be able to add more to our family. Thoughts like;
Why aren't we able to have them join our family now? 
We have more room at our table.
We have more room in our house.
We have more room in our hearts.  
We are now surrounded by three families, three different neighbors, three of our friends have or are in process of adopting, I mean, it's gotta be our turn by now, right?

And then I am blown away by what God has done with adoption in our community and I'm honored to even be able to watch families grow by God's design. It's simply amazing. Wait, that makes 4, I just remembered that another neighbor has adopted their grandchildren. Oh, I can hardly wait to see who is number 5!

Now, Christmas is right upon us. The tree is decorated, the presents are wrapped and all I really want for Christmas is more to my family. I just really want to give the gift of family.

I stumbled upon this song while searching for "holiday specials" on the dvr. I downloaded it, intending to watch it once and then delete it. Well, now I've watched it about 10 times and plan to show it to Erik and the kids.

It's called "All I Really Want For Christmas" by Steven Curtis Chapman.

My heart breaks for those without parents, I so want to help, my time has not yet come. I pray desperately that it will come. I pray that we can be "family" to many. I pray that we can be "family" in whatever form that may be. I pray that God will guide us and lead us and I pray that we will be obedient. I pray for God's grace and peace. I pray for God's continued healing of our bodies, hearts and minds. I pray that our lives and hearts will be filled with more of Him. I pray for family.